is a place of my own
it's a home for my dreams
it's the grounds for my thoughts.
it's a refuge for my fears.
My personal balado
is my own creative world.
it's a place where I can run.
it's a place where I can rest.
it's place where I can stay forever.
My personal balado
is lead by me.
I am the dictator
And I am people.
My personal balado
is my own personal space.
5 comments:
I had to look up what a Balado was, so its either tires or a Scottish airforce base...
The poem you wrote created a nice image in my head, and I liked picturing what a "Balado" could be before I looked it up. Is it a childhood object? An instrument? A song?
I liked the first stanza the best, the last one didn't read as well but I liked the sense of ownership it conveyed none the less.
This is a nice poem. It's concise and cute, but I wish the ending contained a little more flair.
The first two stanzas were able to generate the image of personal space and ownership. I liked that each reader is able to come up with their own image. I pictured a physical space where one might hide out and so I felt the last two lines were not needed because I already reached such an image.
Definitely wish there hadbeen one more stanza, just because the previous ones had built such a cozy picture of a "balado" that I wanted to hear more about it. What it meant, or what the future of such a place could be. It is a very independent poem in that it really just talks about itself, and doesn't address any outsiders in it's lines. Not good or bad, very unique though.
I would be very curious to know exactly what a Balado is. I am not sure if that was what you were trying to evoke in your reader, but I would imagien that anyone who reads this poem would feel the same way.
Other than that, there was nothing that drew me in to this piece. It didn't really do too much for me. So if your intention with the poem was to evoke a feeling of curiosity towards your balado, then i think you were successful. If you were shooting for something else, it didnt, at least to me, come across.
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